The rise of the Phoenix

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning. (Louis L'amour)

Sometimes I think that my injury and rehab period is the best thing that could have happened to my running career. Well, perhaps this is a bit of an exaggeration, but I have come to appreciate this period more and more, especially now that things are going well, I am optimistic and full of motivation again. Whereas 2014 was a year-long extremely joyful rally with exclusively positive experiences, 2015 has so far been more of a roller coaster, with sky-high ups and bottomless pits. There have been great moments of new achievements, like records at Stoltzekleiven, and wonderful new experiences, like the relay races with Varegg, and especially the trip to Holmenkollstafetten. But the period has mainly been characterized by injuries and my attempts to get rid of them, and in fact not much running. In 2014 I learned to push myself, believe in myself, and I discovered that I had it in me; the never ending motivation and the willpower to go on and on. 2015 is teaching me different things. Quite the opposite of what I thought, I discovered that I am in fact quite patient, or perhaps I have learned to become it. I have experienced moments of despair and deep sadness, but I have also discovered that I have the ability to draw myself out of such moments and get back into a positive track. Of course you know that I have been blessed with a whole army of angels, who have continuously offered support, comfort and help;  my husband Frank, my friends from Melkesyre and Varegg, my trainer Ketil, my friends Filiz and Anne Chatrine, and my physiotherapist Ane. (Note to self: I must write more about Ane later; she is like no other therapist I have tried, or rather she has the expertise of all those therapists gathered in one single person!)

2015 has taught me to think long-term rather than the next race. I think this is extremely useful wisdom for a runner. When I first realized in 2014 that I could reach physical goals that I before thought were impossible, I became quite eager and impatient to show both myself and everyone else how good I could actually become. Now I have a much longer perspective, and I am confident and patient enough to wait for some of my goals to come later and not all at once. Since I love running, perhaps an analogy is appropriate. Could it be that 2014 was when I fell in love with running, whereas now is the period when the infatuation is turning into true love? Like, when you first fall in love and you cannot see clear, and you just want more and more and more, and nothing else matters? But then you discover new sides of your chosen one that you were first too blind to see, and you learn to understand, accept and like even these sides, and you realize that you have to work to make this relationship last life long? Perhaps so. In addition, many new friendships that were established in 2014 are strengthening and deepening now, which I think fits well with the analogy.

Why did I have to become injured to reach this wisdom? There is a lot of literature, presentations, and media posts about motivation, inspiration, pushing your limits, reaching your potential, achieving the impossible, and so on. This is all wonderful, and I have found great support in reading and listening to such. However, for people who are easily motivated, have the will power and the ability to push themselves, there is no easily accessible input on how to stay injury free. Of course "rest more, run less" is an obvious advice that I have got many times, but this is not what I am talking about. I want to find out how to continue to run and compete as much as I want and still stay injury free. Quite counterintuitively, injuries happen most often when you are making great progress in your form. You experience better and better times at competitions, your resting heart rate is lower than ever, you feel great and ready to practice even more than before, but your muscles, tendons or joints are not able to follow this. How to train smarter? There are ways. I am learning, and I will let you know.

In the meanwhile, my first priority is recovering from injury. It is going slowly but forward. When I was hung up on short-term thinking, I could become so sad about the time of training I have lost since January and how good I could have become now if I could have continued undisturbed. But the new long-term-thinking me has completely stopped thinking about such things, and I concentrate only on the now and the future, the emphasis being on enjoying the moment. Channelizing my focus into activities that I actually can and am allowed to, enjoying and becoming good at these, are nice ways of keeping the motivation and the level of happiness up. Here are some examples of what keeps me going these days, which might be helpful for others in the same situation:

1. I am doing intervals and fast walks up Stoltzekleiven and Ulriken, pushing my time further and further down. My form is surprisingly good after having lost so much time with immobility, and I am doing my best to keep and improve it.  My time up Stoltzekleiven is back to where it was around the time when I had my records, and you can imagine how great a motivation this is.

2. I am setting new strength training goals, like a certain number of kilos I want to be able to lift or push, or certain exercises I want to be able to perform. This week, for the first time ever, I was able to do clapping push-ups during my PT session with Ketil. It starts as a regular push-up, but on the way up you clap your hands before you set them on the floor again on your way down. Such small games and new achievements provide a lot of fun and entertainment, as well as help me keep on a positive track. The rehabilitation exercises that I do at the physiotherapy center have considerably increased my leg strength, and I think this is one of the reasons why things are going so well at Stoltzekleiven. After all, PT sessions and rehab sessions altogether amount to an hour of strength training five days a week, and the difference is noticeable.

3. I am concentrating on longer and longer uphill fast walks, and really enjoying these immensely as I can increase the mileage of them. I am back to discovering new paths on the mountains around Bergen, and I am loving the surprising variety this wonderful nature so close to me is offering. This weekend Frank and I tried two variants of a course that I had heard of several times before but never tried. Walk up Stoltzekleiven, jog down to Munkebotn, and just below the lake there take the path up to Kvitebjørnen. My goodness, this must be one of the nicest paths in Bergen. It is steep up all the way to the top, with stairs of wood, stone and metal, and incredible views. Once you hit the top, it is more or less flat all to way to Rundemanen offering great views all the way. Or you can shortcut by walking down to Sandvikshytten and back to the top of Stoltzekleiven. There are so many cabins on these paths! And these are all so well kept and nice to pass by. I will for sure write about various combinations involving Kvitebjørnen later; for now I give you here the gps details of the part starting from the top of Stoltzekleiven, going to Rundemanen and down to Skredderdalen.

Another thing I have learned during this period is that I can participate in races just for the fun of it or for the training, and do not always have to push to perform my best. I am considering Gullfjellet Opp next weekend. I had dismissed it, but now I am thinking about participating in the class where time is not registered. I am also considering Storehesten Opp. These are minor races that might enter my B list. On my A list already two races are lost, but I am hoping to be able to participate in the remaining two: Skåla Opp and Stoltzekleiven. For the first, I will probably change my class from competition to no timing. For the second I hope that I can race properly and improve my recorded race time. When I can start running normally again? I don't know. And I am not asking this question anymore. I am cherishing the improvement, enjoying the things that I can, and looking forward to all the uphill races of the fall. But first, hopefully a lot of swimming during the summer holidays and some spectacular mountain hikes that have been life-long dreams.

Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up! (Dean Karnazes)